Problem Child: Tantrum and Anger - are They Connected?

Tantrums are common behavior problems for small kids. They normally start occurring at around two years old and start to decline by around 4.

Tantrums have numerous possible reasons. Perhaps the kid is frustrated (usually over the inability to express their feelings), or his needs are not being met such as hunger or sleepiness.Sometimes, children throw tantrums extremely. When a tantrum occurs more than 5x a day, lasts over fifteen minutes or when the child hits others or himself then this isn't normal anymore. Some people call these kids a “problem child”.

A problem child is uncontrollable, and often talks back when disciplined. They've got this concept that they are equal as adults, hence they don’t follow orders, does whatever comes to their minds and throws a fit when stopped.

In a lot of cases, experts discovered out that these children are actually angry. One of the most common the things that cause the anger include moving to a new place, losing a buddy or somebody close to him or her, parents who fights at all times or who just went through divorce, etc.


It was also observed that parents contribute to the child’s anger. If a parent is stressed over divorce, unemployment or illness, if the parent have difficulty controlling the child’s anger or if parents let the child to get away with angry displays it makes the kid feel that his behavior is okay. This actually encourages them to display tantrums or angry outbursts.


How should parents handle an angry child?


First, parents have to cope with his own anger first. In addition to the fact that we're our child’s role model, our emotions also reflect in our actions. When we’re angry constantly, our fuse’s short so we have a tendency to shout or spank our child even with just a little misbehaving. When we’re calm, we handle problems with a clear mind and handle conflicts better.


Distracting your kid out of his anger can also be effective. Unlike adults who want to confront their emotions in order to handle it, kids are better off forgetting about it. Let’s say you'd like your child to stop playing with the faucet in the kitchen, but rather than directly telling him to stop, you might like to lead him into the bathroom and let him to play in the tub instead. He can play with all the water he wants but not mess up the kitchen.


Don’t shame the child about being angry. I’ve seen countless of parents who actually turn their child’s anger into a joke. Whenever they see that their youngster is upset about something, they simply laugh it off and say “don’t be angry coz you’re just a kid” or something to that effect. Let your daughter or son know that you know he’s angry and that it’s okay to be. You should also teach him how to express his anger properly as an alternative to kicking, screaming or hurting others.